Taco Hell

Well here is an amusing, and yes, true, story that happened to me a few weeks ago.


A few weeks ago, I made my bi-yearly visit to Taco Bell (for some reason I crave the junk about twice a year). I ordered my 1 tostada and 3 regular tacos, and drove home.
When I got home and opened the bag, I was terrified to find only two regular tacos. I cursed the minimum wage drive-thru employee for denying me of my 3 tacos. But of course, I was too lazy to go back. So two tacos it was.
I went golfing the next day, and it was a little rainy, so the clubs and bag got wet. I left the bag in the back of my Wrangler for a few days, and started to notice a smell. I figured the damp bag/clubs must have accumulated some sort of musky smell, so I removed the bag from my car and figured that was the end of it.
Well, a day or two later and the smell was even worse. It was a truly awful smell. I checked in the back of my car to make sure the wet golf bag might have not left some moldy spores behind that had grown into a huge colony of moldy badness. But I could not find any of that.
Finally, on the way home from work the next day, the smell was unbearable. I pulled over to a car wash and was going to vacuum and deodorize the entire car.
I pulled in and deposited the 75 cents for the vacuum. I first cleaned and vacuumed the drivers side, making sure no speck of dirt or dust was left behind. I then ventured over to the passenger side, ready to conquer all the dirt and dust on that side.
But there was much more to conquer than that.
As I unlocked the door, there it was. A taco, still neatly wrapped, trapped between the passenger side seat and the door. This wasn't just any taco, folks. This was a meaty, cheesy taco that had been sitting in my Jeep for the past 5 days in about 70 degree weather. This was a taco from hell.
Seems the minimum wage drive-thru employee had given me my 3 tacos. When I placed the bag on the passenger side seat, one must have slipped out, neatly falling where I could not see it. You see, no one else really drives the car besides me, so there's no need to ever really open the passenger side door. So it safely sat there, undiscovered, until now.
I did not dare open the wrapper. I was even afraid to pick it up. I seriously though it might crawl out on it's own. But I had no choice. I bravely tore about 7 or 8 sheets of paper towel from the dispenser at the car wash, and went for the beast. With one quick motion, I grabbed the devil taco and hurled it into the garbage can.
It still left it's mark, however. Like most beasts, it left its "footprints" in my car. I drove immediately to an auto care store and bought the largest can of carpet and seat cleaner it sold. For about 45 minutes I scrubbed and washed the entire passenger side carpet and seat. Slowly the remaining smell went away.
Victory was mine.

So a little lesson to you, folks. If you're missing a taco, check your car thoroughly before you curse the drive-thru employee. Seems those tacos are sneakier than they look.